I’ve felt rancor and bitterness towards most of my surroundings for all of recent memory and have now realized that it’s starting to affect my relationship (im growing impatient, ready to fly off the handle, a little defensive) and i feel like im in some way broken or “unfit” for a relationship. Very important to mention that i forgot to take my meds for an extended period and now they are virtuslly useless bbecause im a dimwit and am unable to properly remind myself of my fairly important emotional stability pills; This lack of pharmaceutical support (all a byproduct of my own actions) i think also plays a very big role in my current situation.

How do i not lash out or ruin my relationship with my partner because of my general unhappiness and, for lack of a better term, hate for and towards everyone else around me

  • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    15 days ago

    i’ve struggled with this since i was a young girl plagued with awareness but not enough to understand there was a tangible and feasible solution. but i’ve learnt throughout the years (even those where i thought it was entirely hopeless) to let myself turn my brain off through watching (not shortform content or reels or things with nonsense algorithms or exposing myself to stupid social media) comforting media/shows/youtube vids (again whatever platforms i use i control by being very selective with what i watch rather than hoping just to use recommended), looking back with love at old photos of myself and those i care about (i’ve started to sort of worship this old baby photo and it makes me love myself), writing, drawing, and just remembering it’s okay to suppress most of those emotions when i don’t have a productive outlet. i sequester them away and i comfort myself with telling myself endless burning rage without a valid target just eats me alive, and i’m meant to be the fuel to something more important rather than letting myself die so quickly. sometimes you can let yourself forget. you need time for yourself.