When you open the box for a waffle iron and there’s a big card saying “Hello” And an QR instead of a manual slip in twenty languages.
I have no sympathy for you if your $450 toaster isn’t working.
Dam you weren’t f’in around, literally $450 retail LMAO
wait what this is real?
How many $10 Dollar General Specials is that?
Yeah, but please share it online so we can all laugh at you! Think of the sweet sweet karma!
Buys overpriced crap, gets overpriced crap.
How could this happen to me!?
If you buy a smart toaster that’s on you, not “2026.” Same with fridges. It’s not like TVs where it’s the cheaper option. This shit is not standard.
Cory Doctorow wrote a series of short stories and this is the first one in the book. They just want toast.
Fittingly, the book is called Radicalized.
Unauthorized Bread immediately came to mind when I saw the meme. Time for a reread
Unauthorized Bread is a tale of immigration, the toxicity of economic and technological stratification, and the young and downtrodden fighting against all odds to survive and prosper.
So good and probably my favourite of the four stories
Wait until it refuses to update after 3 years - ‘lol your toaster is now a legacy product. Buy our extended legacy support package’.
Just give it that upgrade that prevents all software issues.
Rip the cpu out
It’s a consumer decision.
Monopoly offers:
- 250 USD toaster with no ads
- 17 USD toaster with ads that only works with authorized bread distributors
- 250 USD toaster with no ads
Minimal ads, come on, let’s not get crazy here
Starts with no ads (yet) and then the update in a year adds ads and a subscription service for AI toasting
Subscription based, loaves becoming slightly smaller every year, fees bumped up every 2 years, toaster hardware obsolete in 5 years.
Edit: every other bakery bought or gone burst, CEO paying lobbyists to make ovens illegal ‘to protect the children’.
You’ll be required to scan the barcode of the packaging of the bread to continue
to validate if your bread is up to quality standardsEach slice will come with a disposable cryptowrapper that will be used by the toaster to validates the authenticity of the bread within.
Given the high risk of deaths from house fires caused by toasting unregulated slices of black market bread–maybe inserted by unsuperivsed children–this is the most socially responsible path forward.
🍞🎁This holiday season give a eToast gift carb! Unsolicitedly surprise your breadies with a reloadable gift card and a loaf they can use to toast ad-free or purchase a loaf of their own! 🍞🎁
The toaster monopoly?
Fuck that, just get an old boxed sprimgs and wire it to a plug and warm it up by plugging it in.
I’ll take whatever drugs this guy is on.
Just roast your bread over a burning data centre
This future meme is years old now.
