Are friends just supposed to be like a TV? You talk to them when it’s convenient for you and you can’t think of something else to do?
I’ve just realized all the people I thought were my friends only talk to me on their schedule, when they feel like it. I’m left on read for days, meetings are ignored, text message conversations just end abruptly until they get back from vacation…
Is this it? Is this what friendship is? Because I don’t want it. I don’t want to feel like I have people to rely on only to find out that I’m just a convenience for people.
No most definitely not and I’m not even that good on the social and relationship part.
While mutual entertainment is good for both, friends are supposed to support each other as well, within their capabilities. Aka you need a couch moved. You call a firend.
Your friends mood is down due to some problem, you try to bring it up or help them resolve that issue or at least lessen the impact of it. Your partner kicks you out, friend will lend you their couch to crash on.
I remember a friend was supposed to help me move a TV I was buying new. He completely ghosted me all day. Turns out he was on Steam playing games.
Maybe my mistake is thinking people are real friends and not just cutting them off? It’s so rare to find people I find minimally interesting, tho.
That isn’t a friend, it is someone who shares mutual interests. You don’t need to cut them off, just acknowledge the actual relationship and decide if that is what you want.
I have four friends. Those four friends also have their own lives and aren’t available 24/7, but they will help putnif they can and I return the favor when I am able. There are a lot of other people I can hang out and do stuff with, but I wouldn’t expect them to help out with something outside shared interests. They might, but I wouldn’t expect them to.
This friend is someone I spent constant time with, someone whom I emotionally carried through his divorce; so I thought we were real friends.
Just saying it’s not easy to distinguish because sometimes there is a form of emotional intimacy that makes you feel connected and then you find out that it’s just one-way.
That was most definitely a bad friend.
Everyone makes that mistake in one point of their life, just learn from it and move on. Though you don’t have to cut off people, just remember that they might not be that helpful, especially if you struggle to find people who intreset you.
Like the current example, if you need someone to play some games with, that bad friend might be good enough for that occasion, but when you need some help with carrying something, theres bo point to rely on that particular friend.