My dad worked on a project that could have made him and his colleague probably very rich (at least, it was successfully done to great wealth by someone else many years later) but his colleague had problems with alcohol, drunk called the investors and whatever he said made them pull out such that they had to cancel the project.
His drinking got worse from there for him and he spent years in and out of prison. When I was about to go to college and my dad was meeting him after he got back out he took me aside and strictly warned me not to go crazy drinking in college. I truthfully told him that I don’t drink at all and I guess that was inconceivable to him because he started going, “You WILL drink. EVERYBODY drinks. Don’t lie and…” so on so forth.
It never seemed appealing to me what with seeing people ruin their lives and act foolish, the odor, all the money people spend on it etc. I’m sure the taste is fine if you push through and try it a bunch but from seeing the effects I never wanted to. Meanwhile visiting other people’s houses as a kid my friends would be doing stuff like asking his mom if he could sniff her wineglass at dinner. 💀
You know this already but yeah you are absolutely the rational one here. I drank a lot back in the day because i had a terrible home life as a child and exhibited a few other self destructive behaviors, but in the last ten years or so ill drink one beer or glass of champagne at a wedding or super bowl watch party, but 100% just to be polite and avoid people chiding me to drink. Yes, people will actually get upset and tell me to drink sometimes, work people wcyd. Idk it’s like ethyl alcohol is exactly the stuff we used to sanitize surfaces at work because it kills everything and also dissolves the chemicals we work with. It’s just madness to drink that stuff!!
I truthfully told him that I don’t drink at all and I guess that was inconceivable to him because he started going, “You WILL drink. EVERYBODY drinks. Don’t lie and…” so on so forth.
There’s a lot of social pressure to drink, particularly for folks over 40. My first year at my current company, it was very normal for the department head to take everyone down to the bar and buy them shots. We definitely had folks that declined. But those weren’t the ones he got close with. Consequently, they weren’t the ones who got fast tracked for promotions and raises and such.
Not saying it’s a strict 1:1 correlation, because we definitely have a few teatoddlers in the upper wings of management. But it’s the exception more than the rule.
There’s also a lot of status in drinking - particularly expensive wines and liquors - such that having a nice bottle on hand when friends are over is considered normal. So I can see why it’s frustrating to your dad, talking to someone who isn’t in that lifestyle and culture, when he hears “Oh, I just don’t do that”. Particularly, when he’s trying to hammer home how easy it is to go from “I don’t drink” to “I drank too much”.
It never seemed appealing to me what with seeing people ruin their lives and act foolish, the odor, all the money people spend on it etc.
It’s a popular social lubricant for a reason. A glass of wine or beer is great at reducing social anxiety. I’ve got friends who insist on a drink at big events. It’s that or pop a xanax.
I also know a few girls who go from dead fish to horny af after a few glasses. So, when they want to hook up, they will take a few shots first to get in the mood. And “odor” can be a plus (for me, anyway) when it’s a petty scotch or rich cherry.
There’s also an artistry to the craft of fermentation, such that it’s as much a hobby as a habit. I know a guy who brews his own beer and loves to bring different casks to events to show off what he’s made. And another who works in the industry. He loves to pull out bottles he picked up overseas and show off different styles, flavors, and techniques of manufacture.
Then there’s just a general quality of pairing. My wife keeps a small wine collection, knows what pairs well, and regularly opens a bottle for cooking or to match with a particular meal.
So… YMMV. But there’s definitely a big gray area between never drinking at all and being an alcoholic.
To be clear the guy with the drinking problem who was talking to me wasn’t my dad, he was a colleague and friend of my dad. My dad did drink from time to time but he wasn’t an alcoholic by any means and in recent years my dad gave up drinking entirely anyway whereas the other guy has unfortunately passed away some years back.
I don’t care if other people drink for some reason or other (at least as long as it’s not impacting me… wasn’t fun when a drunk roommate was waving my computer around in the air unsteadily), whatever floats their boat, I just don’t personally.
My dad worked on a project that could have made him and his colleague probably very rich (at least, it was successfully done to great wealth by someone else many years later) but his colleague had problems with alcohol, drunk called the investors and whatever he said made them pull out such that they had to cancel the project.
His drinking got worse from there for him and he spent years in and out of prison. When I was about to go to college and my dad was meeting him after he got back out he took me aside and strictly warned me not to go crazy drinking in college. I truthfully told him that I don’t drink at all and I guess that was inconceivable to him because he started going, “You WILL drink. EVERYBODY drinks. Don’t lie and…” so on so forth.
It never seemed appealing to me what with seeing people ruin their lives and act foolish, the odor, all the money people spend on it etc. I’m sure the taste is fine if you push through and try it a bunch but from seeing the effects I never wanted to. Meanwhile visiting other people’s houses as a kid my friends would be doing stuff like asking his mom if he could sniff her wineglass at dinner. 💀
You know this already but yeah you are absolutely the rational one here. I drank a lot back in the day because i had a terrible home life as a child and exhibited a few other self destructive behaviors, but in the last ten years or so ill drink one beer or glass of champagne at a wedding or super bowl watch party, but 100% just to be polite and avoid people chiding me to drink. Yes, people will actually get upset and tell me to drink sometimes, work people wcyd. Idk it’s like ethyl alcohol is exactly the stuff we used to sanitize surfaces at work because it kills everything and also dissolves the chemicals we work with. It’s just madness to drink that stuff!!
There’s a lot of social pressure to drink, particularly for folks over 40. My first year at my current company, it was very normal for the department head to take everyone down to the bar and buy them shots. We definitely had folks that declined. But those weren’t the ones he got close with. Consequently, they weren’t the ones who got fast tracked for promotions and raises and such.
Not saying it’s a strict 1:1 correlation, because we definitely have a few teatoddlers in the upper wings of management. But it’s the exception more than the rule.
There’s also a lot of status in drinking - particularly expensive wines and liquors - such that having a nice bottle on hand when friends are over is considered normal. So I can see why it’s frustrating to your dad, talking to someone who isn’t in that lifestyle and culture, when he hears “Oh, I just don’t do that”. Particularly, when he’s trying to hammer home how easy it is to go from “I don’t drink” to “I drank too much”.
It’s a popular social lubricant for a reason. A glass of wine or beer is great at reducing social anxiety. I’ve got friends who insist on a drink at big events. It’s that or pop a xanax.
I also know a few girls who go from dead fish to horny af after a few glasses. So, when they want to hook up, they will take a few shots first to get in the mood. And “odor” can be a plus (for me, anyway) when it’s a petty scotch or rich cherry.
There’s also an artistry to the craft of fermentation, such that it’s as much a hobby as a habit. I know a guy who brews his own beer and loves to bring different casks to events to show off what he’s made. And another who works in the industry. He loves to pull out bottles he picked up overseas and show off different styles, flavors, and techniques of manufacture.
Then there’s just a general quality of pairing. My wife keeps a small wine collection, knows what pairs well, and regularly opens a bottle for cooking or to match with a particular meal.
So… YMMV. But there’s definitely a big gray area between never drinking at all and being an alcoholic.
To be clear the guy with the drinking problem who was talking to me wasn’t my dad, he was a colleague and friend of my dad. My dad did drink from time to time but he wasn’t an alcoholic by any means and in recent years my dad gave up drinking entirely anyway whereas the other guy has unfortunately passed away some years back.
I don’t care if other people drink for some reason or other (at least as long as it’s not impacting me… wasn’t fun when a drunk roommate was waving my computer around in the air unsteadily), whatever floats their boat, I just don’t personally.