• AskewLord@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        men are generally invisible in society unless they are powerful or influential.

        lots of ftm people talk about how becoming a man is so shocking because once they pass they become totally invisible as human beings. nobody cares about them anymore, like they did when they were women. they simple get ignored.

        when you flip it around, however, it’s far more controversial because women get noticed, and a man becoming a woman goes from them being invisible to highly visible.

        women generally, just get far more attention from everyone, then men do. that gets multiplied by being mtf, so you get LOTS of attention.

        it also had to do with gender role presentation. if ftm like wanted to become jacked WWF wrestler bros, you would notice them more, but generally they don’t. but a subset of mtf seeks to be hyper-feminized and broadcasts it loudly. like, when I see trans women on dating sites… they are often going full bimbo, which is hard to ignore because it’s so extreme of a presentation.

        most trans folks I have met irl aren’t gender extremists, and they tend towards androgyny mostly, but androgyny itself, generally, isn’t attention-grabbing or controversial. the folks who get mad about androgyny tend to be gender extremists.

        • Zephyr@sh.itjust.works
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          1 day ago

          That’s a fair take on the situation. I’m also seeing a chicken and the egg situation here. Like are ftm easier to make passable or are they more passable because people aren’t paying as much attention to the differences. Seems to be a bit of both. I’m very queer and trans friendly. A lot of people move to this area because the government helps pay for hormones and transition. Also the city is just very queer friendly.

          I wouldn’t say I’m part of the community but definitely have friends in almost every aspect of it from hardcore leather men to my introverted artsy ftm friend. I will say I have far more mtf and gay male or even lesbian acquaintances. Honestly now that I’m thinking about it we really don’t talk about it or the community much. Usually when I hang out with people we’re just being goofy artsy stoners and I just see them the same way I see everyone, just as people, if that makes sense. Also there’s a bit of psychedelic hijinks, and when people trip sexuality or even the body or human things can kinda take a backseat, just an amorphous soul floating through some mental states.

          • AskewLord@piefed.social
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            1 day ago

            There doesn’t seem to be a sense of ‘pride’ or for FtM the same way there is MtF.

            Anecdotal… but MtF in my personal experience kind of ‘demand’ to be recognized as such, FtM don’t care about being acknowledged as men. They kind of just don’t care, their gender expression isn’t as performantive or public… which is kinda of how most average men are. They don’t really care that much about their presentation. So a FtM transition is likely going to carry those ‘male’ traits of not caring about attention/recognition as much and likely, they never had them in the first place.

    • gilokee@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      isn’t that the opposite though? Tomboys are women who dress like men. Sissies are men who dress like women. OP asked why transwomen are more common than transmen.

      • kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 day ago

        Trans people who don’t pass often get perceived as gender non-conforming. Trans people who do pass are perceived as cis (that’s kind of the point of passing).