Has he tried copious amounts of injected bleach? Everybody says it works wonders.

This looks like a great place to tie rope, with plenty of room for a leader and his cronies.

“On second thought, let’s not call an Indian artillery strike. It is a silly process.”

Nogramming?

Diaper bong?

Trump has cancer and is killing it with soda? Well, at least he’s treating it correctly. Donald, add bleach to your sodas for extra killing power. Lots of bleach.

Dad said “Mario Kart is a waste of time, son.”

That’s General son to you, Dad.

Native Americans used every party of their roadkill. What is it with Kennedys and penises?

Not yer bruv, mate - I’m yer step-bruv! Fancy a shag?

Yeah, but this is: If it bites you and it dies, you’re poisonous?

The only F-word I need from Trump “Files”, as in “Epstein Files”.

So, those Epstein files coming out yet?

May he stall for the shortest time possible. Amen.

I’m beginning to think the hardest job in the entire world is Secret Service Agent. I mean, c’mon, millions of lives are at risk, you’re armed, and he’s right there. Instant hero. /s

Edit: forgot /s. Obviously.

When she stands in her front lawn in Minnesota and waves her arms, waiting for Jebus to carry her to Washington (because aircraft=science=bad), we know who to follow.

Our leaders are so fucking stupid.

Yeah, this kind of thing has been popping up… well, since I started paying attention in the 1970s.

A friend of mine at that time had a great solution: “When they can’t pay my social security or anything else I’ve paid into, I’ll just take it in trade. I’ll take a fair-value amount of government land - maybe in Yellowstone, someplace nice - and at that point it’s mine. Good luck getting it back.”

Target (ominously): “My turn.”

Trump posted on social media after the announcement of Mueller’s death: “Robert Mueller just died. Good, I’m glad he’s dead.” The Republican president added, “He can no longer hurt innocent people!”

What an uber-douche. I read the morning news Every. God. Damned. Day. And the headline is never, “Trump is dead.”

But there’s always tomorrow.

Edit: I did not mean to change the focus from Mueller to Trump. Buuuuutttt… they might want to check his polonium levels…

Alternate title: “Handoff of classified documents comes with free drinks.”

Heart disease. Beats other death causes hands down.