Put on the fiesta music. And crank. It. UP.

Rally around me my tweakers, for we shall grab all the copper and gold this day.

I am now something called a “Jarl” which is not tax deductible but still pretty cool. The Irish government was GRUMPY about this though.

I got really REALLY drunk with Norwegians once. One of the dudes got real serious at one point and said, “Lads. If we take lands in Ireland we can become LORDS.” Everyone looked stern and nodded.

I want a spinoff but where it’s just shot after shot of him doing mundane stuff around his apartment.

Remind me in 300 years!

My instinct says stay alive but the GPS says keep going straight.

Release the ecoli DOOM speedrun!

Roll three D6’s, scroll down to see what font to use, type out company name, make 50 dolla.

You DARE oppose the sun in its own realm!?

Ewwwwww someone’s pooping in the aquatic combat arena!

LAN party in the alley when we lose everything!

Good thing nothing important is ever calculated in excel. Personally I only use it for my financial fantasy novels about CPAs in the Elven Realm.

Old timey Civil War general is the IT industry standard now.

I squirrelmax because I’m acorn pilled.

But now science knows penguins are indifferent to bagpipe music, solving a centuries old theory.

So you walk up to the bar through the smoke and noise, preferably to “Rock You Like A Hurricane.” Then the hotties will turn to each other and say stuff like, “OMG Becky, a cheeseboy. Wanna make a grilled cheese if you know what I mean???” And other things of that matter.

Walk into the club with a wheel of cheese. You’ll thank me later.

(Me watching the asteroid approach while chowing down on seven pounds of Parmesan)

This kettle goes up to 18,000 roentgen so you know it’s good.