With all of the alcoholism, that could be the yeast of his problems.

Wait, how does one rip water?

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

By the way, Pokemon Red and Blue came out 30 years ago this year.

The number one thing you’ll be watching for is changes in eating, drinking, and bathroom habits. Super common for older cats to develop kidney issues/failure with age so if they’re drinking a lot more than usual or using the bathroom a ton, that’s cause for concern. Arthritis also makes it hard to keep the nether regions clean, so UTIs can also pop up from time to time.

As with getting older yourself, be on the lookout for any new lumps, bumps, or growths as they could be cancerous. Especially if they change shape of size.

Try to keep the nails trimmed. Older cats exercise and scratch less so their nails can get too long and become ingrown. It sucks for them and it’s a trip to the vet for you.

If they’ve got longer hair, paying a groomer every once in a while for a trim can be worth it. Long haired cats already get mats more often, but doubly so once they’re old.

Be sure you’re cleaning their teeth regularly. Brushing sucks for all, but even some finger wipes are better than nothing. Otherwise, you’ll be eyeballing an expensive bill for anesthesia to clean dirty teeth and remove the ones that are too far gone.

We’re super lucky with him because he’s actually really healthy for his age. I think he won the generic lottery or something. He’s a very confident and brave cat so it’s not often he’s stressed. I reckon that also has something to do with it.

Anyway, I hope this helps :)

I call my old boy “ugly ass cat” when I pet him.

He seems unbothered by it.

Ceiling cat is watching you gamble away your future.

You will pay $50,000 for your car. It will have a phone in it. I really really mean it. You are not rich.

Honestly, though, if a stopwatch counts milliseconds, I’m gonna see how close to 0 I can get without letting it hit 0

Go ahead and call the mechanic to schedule that transmission fluid change. Don’t let him rip you off with a flush, though. All you need is a drain and fill.

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Thanks Google.

I should probably just install Lineage already.

This would rock as a cross stitch pattern.

Get a government job. You’ll hear more acronyms in 2 hours than you’ve heard in the last year.

Intraosseous insemination

If engine size is inversely proportionate to penis length, what does that say about cyclists?

Talk about cocky.

Made my day lmao

And fuck the movie The Fan starring Wesley Snipes. Demolition Man’s the only Snipes movie I like.

-Jon “MC Vagina” Lajoie

My personal favorite is mean cat that bites you.

Just so cute.

And yeah, the Oatly carton cracks me up. I love the level of snark on that one. But hey, all that aluminum is certainly worth something lol

This is on Craigslist’s best of page. Here’s a link to the ad

This car’s exterior color is gray, but it’s interior color is grey.

As an owner of a gray/gray 2012 Civic LX, I have never felt so attacked.

I asked it if I should push my car there. It’s a 2012 Buck Shasta.

It’s not feasible to push a car to the car wash, especially one like a 2012 Buick Shasta, which typically weighs around 3,500 to 4,000 pounds (approximately 1,590 to 1,810 kg). Pushing such a heavy vehicle is impractical and could lead to injury.

I mean, fair, but if you know cars, you know a 2012 Buck Shasta isn’t a real car. Guess I’ll have to tow it there with my 2014 Dixon Ticonderoga.

E: I just realized it corrected Buck to Buick lmao