If that’s your conclusion then you were never equipped to have this conversation in the first place. I’m sure somebody will be willing to explain it to you, but I’m not.

This is the last time I will reply to you because it doesn’t seem like anything anyone is saying about his behavior is resonating with you. You believe he’s not, but we have provided proof that he is multiple times to the point that he became hostile. It shows a lack of respect for queer, trans, and intersex comrades for you to be repeatedly shown proof and then turn around and say he’s not. You didn’t write those words, we didn’t write those words, he did - and this is one of the last corners of the internet where we can exist without our existence being called into question with no consequences. If I recall, this isn’t the first time you’ve asked. I’m asking you to respect that he caused harm to this community and unless he does self-crit and grows (which he hasn’t), you shouldn’t expect him to be welcomed back.

I’m sorry, but saying he wasn’t queerphobic around you does not address the issue when you were just presented with a litany of examples of a pattern of behavior over time. We don’t know you, we don’t know your ability to address or identify queerphobia, and we have experienced a very different person from the one you described as articulated in the many queerphobic things he has said that have been linked here.

It’s not that I don’t feel bad for someone having a mental crisis. It’s very serious and he should get help. But that’s also not a good reason to let him back into a community in which he has caused harm, especially when there’s no discernible proof of him having grown and learned from the harm he has caused.

Kirby talked down to me while spouting men’s rights talking points and also denied ever saying anything transphobic in the same thread. Considering the fact that he didn’t tell you anything about his ban I doubt he has reflected even in the slightest about it. I am personally not comfortable having him back, because he seemed to take it upon himself to take over every thread at the time that was about queerness or sexism, choking out the possibility for anyone learning or understanding about them while at the same time making it unsafe for queer and femme comrades. Can you honestly tell me that he wouldn’t do that again?

There are a couple comrades on this thread who have said that they would be fine with having him back, and while I usually appreciate their analysis, I am a bit skeptical of their seriousness to combat transphobia as a result.

https://lemmygrad.ml/comment/6820805