Just curious. I realize this community is probably the wrong place to ask, but how would you feel about someone using AI to brainstorm some date ideas but still doing the actual selection and planning themselves (and not bragging about using AI as something to admire)? To me, it doesn’t feel too different from doing a web search of “date ideas” and working off whatever lists you get.
Dates should help you get to know each other. They should be things you already enjoy doing, or places you like to go, or want to see if you like. Expressions of who you are.
Asking the AI at all is a large part of the problem because it screams you have no personality and no preferences and think dating is some Hollywood romcom style big showy thing that it’s not and shouldn’t be. Every happily married couple I know goes on simple dates and always has. You shouldn’t need a list of date ideas. Period.
My wife and I went to her favourite restaurant for our first date, our most recent date was walking through a bookstore and showing each other fun covers. One of my best friends, his first date with his wife was just hanging out at a local park eating sandwiches and their most recent date was learning to make pierogi together. Things we enjoy or they enjoy. (Married about ten years for reference) Every happy couple I know has similar stories no matter how long they’ve been together. Even my 22 year old cousin.
If you need a list of date ideas. Just write down the stuff you like to do, or want to try. Done.
Anything bigger should be a special thing with someone and it should be special to you and your partner and looking for a list of other people’s ideas is the wrong move.
Okay, thank you. I’m autistic, and social activities are very challenging for me in general, so it’s genuinely helpful to have examples that show the expectations can be low.
No worries but I should clarify a little bit though.
Expectations can absolutely be high but the key is to find someone with the same expectations as you. I do know one couple who’s first date was skydiving and their wedding was a destination ski trip. The key is that that was who they both were before the relationship. Either one of them would not last in a relationship where dates are coffee shops and bookstores and such. It’s not “showy” relative to their usual selves.
If your idea of a good time is visiting the local gardens, and your date likes butterflies, then you’ve got a first date. If your idea of a good time is a rock climbing gym and your date enjoys editing together videos, then build your first date around a GoPro and a climb.
The lady in the original post met the guy in an art class, her expectation was probably to go get a coffee and visit a museum with his favourite local painting or something that they could talk about. Nothing fancy, just an expression of himself.
Thanks again for being willing to provide all that. In my defense, I did say expectations “can be” low, not that they always would be. It might be a moot point anyway. I’m still working out earlier steps.
Just curious. I realize this community is probably the wrong place to ask, but how would you feel about someone using AI to brainstorm some date ideas but still doing the actual selection and planning themselves (and not bragging about using AI as something to admire)? To me, it doesn’t feel too different from doing a web search of “date ideas” and working off whatever lists you get.
Then just do the ned search if its not so much diffefent?
Well, I’m not saying it excuses anything, but there are still differences in interactivity, personalization, feedback, summarization, etc.
Dates should help you get to know each other. They should be things you already enjoy doing, or places you like to go, or want to see if you like. Expressions of who you are.
Asking the AI at all is a large part of the problem because it screams you have no personality and no preferences and think dating is some Hollywood romcom style big showy thing that it’s not and shouldn’t be. Every happily married couple I know goes on simple dates and always has. You shouldn’t need a list of date ideas. Period.
My wife and I went to her favourite restaurant for our first date, our most recent date was walking through a bookstore and showing each other fun covers. One of my best friends, his first date with his wife was just hanging out at a local park eating sandwiches and their most recent date was learning to make pierogi together. Things we enjoy or they enjoy. (Married about ten years for reference) Every happy couple I know has similar stories no matter how long they’ve been together. Even my 22 year old cousin.
If you need a list of date ideas. Just write down the stuff you like to do, or want to try. Done.
Anything bigger should be a special thing with someone and it should be special to you and your partner and looking for a list of other people’s ideas is the wrong move.
Okay, thank you. I’m autistic, and social activities are very challenging for me in general, so it’s genuinely helpful to have examples that show the expectations can be low.
No worries but I should clarify a little bit though.
Expectations can absolutely be high but the key is to find someone with the same expectations as you. I do know one couple who’s first date was skydiving and their wedding was a destination ski trip. The key is that that was who they both were before the relationship. Either one of them would not last in a relationship where dates are coffee shops and bookstores and such. It’s not “showy” relative to their usual selves.
If your idea of a good time is visiting the local gardens, and your date likes butterflies, then you’ve got a first date. If your idea of a good time is a rock climbing gym and your date enjoys editing together videos, then build your first date around a GoPro and a climb.
The lady in the original post met the guy in an art class, her expectation was probably to go get a coffee and visit a museum with his favourite local painting or something that they could talk about. Nothing fancy, just an expression of himself.
Thanks again for being willing to provide all that. In my defense, I did say expectations “can be” low, not that they always would be. It might be a moot point anyway. I’m still working out earlier steps.
At that point they should just get a rubber ducky.
Bubble Bath
Referring to this?
Yup
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