Just toying with the idea here. I am thinking about proposing in the next year and I never expected I would be in this position.
My sister was just proposed to and dude must have spent like 10 grand on the ring. I think she feels like he spent too much. It looks like the friggin thing weighs her whole hand down.
Also do you think it is misogynist to ask the lady’s dad for permission?
My opinion as a pragmatist and a woman: an engagement shouldn’t be a surprise. The formality of the proposal itself can be a surprise, but just like a birthday party it should be something expected and at the very least loosely discussed with the person. Asking “what kind of proposals do you like?” and figuring out if they want something public or private, or in front of friends or something small is really important. What kind of engagement ring should go in this discussion. She might hate diamonds, she might love them, she might have a metal allergy, she might have a stone that means a lot to her, she might hate rings with stones at all because they catch on things. You don’t know until you ask, and by asking you’re showing her the respect and that you value her opinion.
Exactly, don’t ask anyone to marry you if you don’t already know that the answer will be yes. Reality isn’t like the movies; a spontaneous marriage proposal isn’t romantic, it’s putting the recipient on the spot and forcing them to answer a huge question that they may not be ready to answer yet, and if they say no it’s likely to doom the relationship even if they may have said yes if properly consulted beforehand.
My wife and I had already discussed the possibility of marriage almost from the start of our relationship, to make sure that our expectations of where the relationship was going were aligned. Once we decided in earnest that we did want to spend our lives together, we discussed what she wanted the proposal to look like and what kind of a ring she wanted.