We really are living in the Idiocracy timeline.

Mayo has no dairy. It’s mainly eggs and oil.

Don’t sugar coat it. Tell us how you really feel.

Fun fact: his wife’s name was Vagina Screwdriver.

Wow

Tell your dog a said “who’s a good boy?”

The same thing he distracts from every night, Pinky. The fact that he’s in the Epstein files.

As an introvert, most things that extroverts do are strange. I want nothing more than to go home during the course of a normal work day. Extroverts love to go back out and socialize more. No thanks.

Watch My Name is Earl instead. Much better.

I prefer Edge at work. We can choose between that or Chrome, but add-ons are blocked and Edge syncs my bookmarks between computers automatically. I work IT, so jumping between computers is frequent. Edge isn’t horrible, it just isn’t great.

I have had plenty of girlfriends in my 45 years, and none of them used bobby pins. My mother had some that she never used, though. By the time I came around, she had had enough with the long hair life and went short.

Diabeetus.

White female Mamdani? So like a completely different person?

Our oldest tried transitioning pronouns when he was younger, but eventually realized that he is “a boy who likes girl stuff.” We reverted his pronouns and he has been a he ever since. There’s nothing special to do, just love them and do your best with any changes requested.

Or just skip that question all together. Your kid doesn’t owe you grandkids.

We have two-pronged campfire sticks that we call twoks.

I’d argue that they get better as leftovers. It’s the additional time to meld flavors. Chili is another great thing to bring to work, but I guess that’s basically a type of stew.

Chicken/tuna/egg salad is my suggestion. Though the way I do it may not work for your situation. I make up a container of it on Sunday and keep it in the work fridge. I keep a loaf of bread in my desk and make a sandwich each day. It’s a great way to have sandwiches without the bread getting soggy. This can also work with cold cuts, but it gets complicated if you want condiments.

As someone who used to work retail, I feel this. I have trouble socially and just want one phrase to mindlessly close out every interaction. I started with “have a good day,” but as the day progressed, I would get more funny looks or comments like “…what’s left of it.” I’m sorry, is after 6pm no longer today? Today is a day, right? I ended up using “have a good one.” While less formal, the funny looks and comments stopped.

People are funny. They think it’s strange that I say have a good day as it’s starting to get dark, but don’t bat an eye at the fact that I’m only wishing them a good day. What about tomorrow? “I hope today goes well for you, but fuck tomorrow.” Is the idea that they expect to see me every day? I deserve days off, too. I’m not going to be here tomorrow to wish you a good day, so maybe I should tailor it to my schedule to make sure you’re covered until I see you again. “I have tomorrow off, so have a good couple days!” No, I’d have to change that every day… maybe “Have a good time until I see you again!” is better. What happens when I change jobs? I don’t think I’ll see them again, so I need to make sure their days are good from here on out? “Have a nice life!” That’s worse somehow.

This reminds me of the end of sophomore year in high school. We were signing yearbooks, “Have a nice summer, hope you don’t drown!” Thanks for the positive wishes, but now I’m going to worry about drowning every time I go swimming!

The most amazing part of this is that Florida is shown to be a part of the Appalachian Mountains. Meanwhile, its highest point is only 345 feet (105 meters), which is the lowest state high point of all 50 states.