If he was the owner dude should’ve gotten a bonus or something for doing a good job

Oh I like that version!

It wouldn’t be a till deficiency because op wasn’t charged for it. It might be a blip in the inventory count, if they even check

I didn’t watch enough Simpsons to get this reference

Nice, thank you!

All of these jokes reminds me of the joke about jokes.

You see, back in the vaudeville days, social clubs were popular. Secret societies, fraternal orders, et cetera. So all these comedians got together and created the National Order of Comedians, Clowns and Jokesters. Every year they would have a national conference, and each member would get up on stage and tell a joke. See the comments here if you want to relive the experience.

As the years passed, since all the members were extremely professional and took humor seriously, and with the NOCCJ taking in new members, they decided to save time and just tell the punchlines. So a comedian would go on stage, say something like “wrecked him? Damn near killed him!” And everyone would chuckle, and then pass the mic to the next person.

Well more years passed and they got even more members, the NOCCJ was huge. So to save even more time, they made The List. All the jokes were on the list, and each joke got a number. So a comedian would get up on stage, say something like “57”, everyone would politely clap, and then pass the mic and keep going.

Last year though, something happened. I was, of course, there, sitting in the crowd, and things were going on as they have been for years. “34” clap clap. “876” clap clap. “358” clap clap. “277” clap clap.

Then someone, I couldn’t tell you who, got on stage and said “478”.

From the back, this old man starts laughing. He’s got tears streaming down his face, he’s roaring with laughter, falling out of his chair. He’s laughing so hard people are worried he’s going to have a heart attack! So we rush back to him to see if he’s all right.

We got to him and pull him off of the floor, and someone asks him “what’s going on? Are you ok??”

Panting, still crying from laughter and wheezing, he yells out… “I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE!”

Would you mind transporting and explaining it to me? I’d love to learn

Obviously people are fine with cats on a leash ya dingus

Jelly on top, peanut butter on the bottom, bread in the middle

Most people commenting are probably Americans who don’t know what it’s like to travel in a different country, so they don’t know what “safe” looks like to other people around the world.

Generally I’d say the danger depends on where you travel, how you travel, and can change depending on the location you’re in.

Overall, statistically, the most danger your friend will be in will be when driving.

Well that’s neato, thanks for sharing

Dude I don’t even know what that is or what it does and I’m pretty sure most people don’t either. It might be easy but what the heck even is it?

“Monkeys are brown because they eat bananas. You know how flamingos turn pink because they eat shrimp? Well monkeys eat bananas and bananas turn brown” -two dead ass serious girls I met

“People didn’t use crossbows when trying to siege a castle because the bolts fly in a straight line, so they fly over castle walls” -college history professor, about to be surprised gravity existed in the middle ages

I thought there was a study done or something

The library has great resources for people, for free, for all sorts of situations

Elephants think humans are cute

No one’s touched analog games so…

Monopoly. It’s tedious, it’s a grind, it was stolen from a last trying to say that landlords are shit, and it just ruins families.

Also the Outer Worlds is shit. It had cool art Nouveau style aesthetics, and had a great premise, but completely dropped the ball on practically everything. The art Nouveau ideals are counter to the world where everything is commodified and automatic. It starts off trying to be funny, but isn’t really, and does nothing to get you to feel like you’re stumbling into a capitalistic nightmare. You have no investment in the world or people or anything. It throws in the aliens and rebels like an afterthought. A fan made music video did more for the theme and feeling of oppression. Utter disappointment and they are going to make another for some reason

It scratches an itch to find a really efficient way of doing a thing

That wasn’t dark humor, it was just dumb and cringe

I mean ai by nature is ripping someone off but ok. Thanks for posting the context though, much appreciated