Hell, get a gym membership, work on your body and get on the dating apps. Be serious and straightforward with the women you meet. Show them the kindness and empathy your toxic parents didn’t show you. Maybe you’ll meet the right woman and together you can build a future. There’s no rule that says a six year old can’t start a family

Go into the world, learn a trade and make a man out of yourself. There’s no rule that says a steel worker, a deep sea welder or an HVAC repairman can’t be six. /s

Yup, no problem.

Yes, it will work no problem. You might need to use an adapter for the power cable but otherwise you’ll be fine.

Star Wars was originally aimed at women because fatherhood was a central theme of the films. /s

Join an improv group, take dance classes or join a theatre club. If that’s not your vibe then join a board game club or learn to play an instrument. I’ve seen lots of people take up new hobbies since this nonsense started. At first this whole AI thing really bummed me out but it’s made me get in touch with the things I really care about. I think we’re headed for interesting times

You’re living in a prison of your own making. I hope you escape one day.

I’ve been told about dropout tv multiple times, I should watch it. I don’t know why I’m not watching

Tell them to bring in the friend, then hire the friend on the spot and when they spin out of control say you were only kidding and end the meeting.

This is how you trick your kid into digging a hole in the yard.

I think they check with the ISP or something.

No all the books rise up against you and try to overthrow you.

Bees hate cops.

Wolverine bone claws, laser vision and invisible penis syndrome

Same here, I remember thinking that this is what adult life looks like.

I don’t think that will happen especially if you consider the current political climate and how many European countries specifically want to move away from American tech.

I hacked this guy’s fish tanks, I reprogrammed the lights and I’m currently training his fish through EMDR to memorize all his passwords. In about six months time I’ll break into his house, interrogate his fish and clean out all his bank accounts.

You never heard the story of the salt of the earth computer programmer who came to Ellis Island with nothing but a github portfolio and a dream?

Honestly if I have fun building it then I’ll spend 80 to build my own but if I need it right now then I’ll probably buy a ready made one. It’s basically the difference between my home pc and the mac I use for office work.

1. ケチャップをよこせ！
2. ケチャップをくれよ！
3. ケチャップを、今すぐ！
4. ケチャップがどうしても必要だ！
5. ケチャップをくれ、さもないと殺すぞ！
6. ケチャップ野郎は誰だ？ケチャップを持ってこい！
7. ケチャップが出るまであと３秒。その後、クソ野郎どもを殺し始めるぞ！
8. お前は私のケチャップ奴隷だ。今すぐケチャップをくれ、さもないとお前の家族を殺すぞ。お願いします。

Using 私 in example 8 instead of オレ様 might look like a mistake but you have to understand that this is formal Japanese. In these sorts of situations everyone is armed to the teeth and one wrong word can lead to a massacre.

One time while attending a nomikai I drank before my senior and was beaten within an inch of my life. As they were about to finish me off with a rocket launcher my senpai swallowed a grenade on my behalf, excused himself and blew up outside the izakaya, this was fortunately enough for the senior to spare my life.

I am forever indebted to Suzuki-san for his noble sacrifice. Please use the above phrases well and you might survive and even thrive in Japan.

I’m writing this message from my hospital bed where I am waiting to have 50 chopsticks removed from my rectum (unrelated incident). Thank you again, Suzuki-san. I know you are watching over me from above in heaven.