• LouNeko@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    I wish there was like a Craigslist for life.

    Offering roughly 40 years of life remaining.

    • Teeth slightly crooked but all still original from manufacturer (missed a service intervall in 2014).

    • Hair at roughly 80% capacity.

    • Glasses have to replaced every 3-4 years.

    • Used to have “Eat what ever you want, never gain weight” package, but the subscription ran out (not offered anymore).

    • Back pain set in a few years ago but still managable.

    • Doesn’t like arugula, coriander or chocolate above 60%

    • Addicted to sugar

    • No job and 1.73 GPA Bachelors.

    • ADHD bundled with Depression included

      Genuenly, from the bottom of my heart, something, take me the fuck out. I’ll take pancreatic cancer at this point as long as it’s certain death.

      • ᓚᘏᗢ@piefed.social
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        8 days ago

        Ngl I sometimes really wish I was wasn’t such a misanthrope and more predisposed to cultish behaviour.

        Some Jim Jones motherfucker taking the reigns with fruity drinks and the company of all my new cult freinds, would be so, so nice.

        I barely even enjoy talking to people online anymore though, so like fuck am I going to be putting myself out there irl and networking to find the right cult.