Just toying with the idea here. I am thinking about proposing in the next year and I never expected I would be in this position.
My sister was just proposed to and dude must have spent like 10 grand on the ring. I think she feels like he spent too much. It looks like the friggin thing weighs her whole hand down.
Also do you think it is misogynist to ask the lady’s dad for permission?
Personally I feel the whole concept of the man proposing with a ring is outdated. The decision to get married was a joint decision between my wife and me. We talked about it, agreed we both wanted it and then decided together when we wanted to get married. There was no engagement ring and we didn’t spend a lot on our wedding rings either (I can’t remember how much, but it was relatively speaking very cheap). The wedding itself was also rather small and not that expensive (again, relatively). We had a lovely day and never regretted not spending more, even if we could have afforded to.
But getting married is one of these things where the right way is your way. Everyone wants something different and nobody can tell you what’s best for you and your partner.
An engagement shouldn’t be a surprise, but a proposal can be (depending on what the couple wants!). As in your advice on discussing and agreeing jointly on getting engaged is really good.
My partner and myself decided against rings altogether and did a smaller wedding as well. It was awesome and not too expensive.