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I still haven’t forgiven him for helping dox Bayarea like 6 years ago.
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I’m no professional, but it certainly sounds like mania to me. Is there any utility in surrounding yourself in books or whatever about nice sects, to help ground it in something a little less destructive? Like unitarians or Quakers or whatever?
Stalker is great. The transition into color from b&w is breathtaking!


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I’m not huge on movies, but Solaris by Tarkovsky is beautiful.


Hey friend, I’m sorry there haven’t been any responses. It’s not easy to know what to say when someone’s having a tough time, but I know people here feel sympathetic.
I try to remember that intrusive thoughts aren’t things I’m consciouly thinking, and don’t have any bearing on me as a person. It’s just stuff that happens in my brain. Idk if that’s useful, but I wish you well.


I’m a heavily masked autistic, so I probably don’t have great advice.
But, you don’t have a deficiency. There’s nothing wrong with you. You have a hard time understanding a mode of communication that seems to come naturally to other people, but you’re not like, less of a person because of it.
I think the others are right to find people you don’t have to perform around. It doesn’t hurt to pay attention to tone and body language of other people, so you can translate what you mean when you want to, though.
Normal isn’t really real, it’s a societal expectation that everyone performs to, it’s just easier for some people. Normal is overrated anyway.


The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs is interesting!
That’s great news!!